Yesterday was my 26th birthday. If you know me at all, you will know that 26 is the year I've been waiting for since I was in grade school. That's when I decided I would be married, have two children, a house, two dogs and a white picket fence in a cute little cottage-like home. I have prayed year after year that on my 26th birthday, all of my deepest wishes would come true. Well, I'll be the first to tell you, none of those things suddenly happened on my 26th birthday.
Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a wife. I didn't really know what I wanted to go to school for, seeing as there were so many options. At one point I wanted to be an astronaut (who doesn't want to be that when they grow up?), an art teacher (if you could see my artwork, you would question why I ever thought that was a good idea), a wedding planner, a teacher, an interior designer, a chef, an author, and a ballerina. (although I never took a ballet class.) But one day, I decided I didn't want to do any of those things. I just wanted to work with children. If I can't have my own, why not love and care for other people's? It's a close second right? Working with children is such a roller coaster ride. I love every child that I've had the pleasure of working with and have learned TONS of things for my future family. But sometimes, it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. (Like any job, I'm sure.) That's when I try to turn it around and see the joy in every situation.
I know that I am not ready to have my own children right now because there are so many things I want to do before I have them. I want to be engaged and enjoy every moment of telling people I have a fiancé. I want to have my dream wedding & stress over all of the planning that comes along with that special day. I want to travel the world, take pictures of all sorts of landscapes and daydream about all of the places I will go. I want to spend quality time with my husband before we have to schedule dates around work, babysitters, play dates, and birthday parties.
I also don't want a house yet either. I have only been to a few places in the United States and I'm not sure Iowa is my "forever home". It's crazy to think that someday I may be moving away from my wonderful family and the greatest of friends, but I know there is much more out there than what I can get in Iowa. But who knows, maybe this is where I'm meant to be. Only time will tell.
Along with that, I don't know if I'm ready for two dogs yet. I have the most amazing dog I could have ever asked for. I'm not sure how I got so lucky with her. Yes, sometimes she makes me want to pull my hair out. And every once in a while she makes me want to cry, but I love Penny with every bit of my heart. She is my first child. I can't imagine loving another dog as much as I love her. Maybe when she gets a little bit older, I will get her a companion. But for right now, Penny is just what I need in my life.
As far as God answering prayers, He did answer one of my prayers. I have always prayed that God would bring the right man into my life to grow with, to share a life with, to spend time with and love wholeheartedly. He brought that person into my life when I met Zach. I don't know what my life would be like without him, but I don't want to imagine it. He is everything I've ever wanted.
Sorry for the long, drawn out post about birthdays. But if you knew me at all, you would know that yesterday was a rough day for me knowing none of my prayers had been answered. It wasn't until this morning while eating my Raisin Bran & enjoying the sound of some Michael Bublé coming out of my computer that I realized not every prayer is answered. But sometimes, the right ones are.
